Playing IT jeopardy

Alex: Welcome to IT Jeopardy, I’m Alex Quebec, that’s pronounced “Ahl-lex Keh-bek,” the host of our show. Tonight’s categories are “Marketing Madness,” “Numbers” and “More or Less.” Our contestants are Hank, Trish and Sophie. Hank, why don’t you start us off by choosing a category.

Hank: I’ll take “Marketing Madness” for $500, Mr. Kweebeck.

Alex: That’s Quebec. And the answer is, “Like comparing apples to malaria.”

Trish buzzes first.

Trish: What is comparing the cost of Linux on a mainframe to the cost of Windows on a PC?

Alex: That’s correct. And Trish takes the lead with $500 and with it the right to choose the next item.

Trish: I’ll take “More or Less” for $100, Alexandra.

Alex: That’s Alex, Trish. And the answer is, “Former President Bill Clinton’s opinion on marital fidelity.”

Hank: Shouting. What is more credible than SCO’s claims in its lawsuits?

Alex: Right. And Hank is on the board with $100. Your choice, Hank.

Hank: I’ll take “More or Less” for $400, Mr. Kabark.

Alex: Quebec. And the answer is, “A midnight stroll alone through New York’s Central Park.”

No one answers.

Alex: Five seconds.

Trish: What is less risky than using Microsoft Outlook?

Alex: Judges? No, I’m sorry. You were close, though, Trish. What we were looking for was “Microsoft software,” not “Outlook” specifically. You still control the board, Hank.

Hank: “Numbers” for $300, Alec.

Alex: It’s Alex. And the answer is, “Aside from the bottom line, these are the most important numbers to a U.S. IT organization.”

Hank: What’s total cost of ownership?

Alex: No, I’m sorry. Anyone else?

Sophie: What is the international dialing code for India?

Alex: That’s correct, Sophie, and you’re on the board with $300. It’s Sophie’s choice now.

Sophie: I’ll take “More or Less” for $300, Mr. Kabeek.

Alex: It’s Quebec, Sophie. And the answer is, “The Loch Ness monster.”

Sophie: What is easier to find than Microsoft innovation?

Alex: Right. And that puts Sophie in the lead with $600. Your choice again, Sophie.

Sophie: “More or Less” for $500.

Bell rings; lights flash.

Alex: Congratulations, Sophie, you found the Daily Double. You have $600; how much would you like to wager?

Sophie: Let’s see, I’ll make it a true Daily Double.

Alex: OK. For $600, Sophie, what does this picture represent?

A picture of a blank sheet of paper is shown.

Sophie: Hesitating. What is a complete listing of the source code owned by SCO that was illegally incorporated into Linux?

Alex: That’s absolutely correct, and Sophie takes a commanding lead with $1,200. Sophie, it’s still your choice.

Sophie: I’ll take “Marketing Madness” for $300 please, Alice.

Alex: Alex. And the answer is, “We were planning to switch to open-source software.”

Hank: What do you tell Microsoft when you want a deep discount on their software?

Alex: That’s correct, Hank, and it brings you to $100, tying you with Trish. Hank, you pick the category.

Hank: Thanks. I’ll take “Marketing Madness” for $100.

Alex: OK. The answer is, “US$2 billion.”

Trish: What is the list price on Scott McNealy?

Alex: That’s what we were looking for, and now you’re all alone in second place with $200.

Bell rings.

Alex: That means our time is up and it’s time for Final Jeopardy. Today’s category is “E-mail.” And the answer is, “What the contents of your inbox indicate you need to do most.”

Theme music plays while contestants write their answers. Music ends; contestants put down their pens.

Alex: We’ll start with you, Hank. Let’s see your response. Hank says what your inbox indicates you need to do most is “lose 20 pounds in one week without drugs or dieting.” I’m sorry, Hank, that is not correct, and even if it were, you didn’t put your response in the form of a question. You had $100 and wagered it all, so that brings your total to zero.

That takes us to Trish, whose answer is, “What is buy cheap Xanax and Sildenafil Citrate?” Excellent guess, but it’s incorrect. Trish also wagered it all, so she, too, ends up with nothing.

Let’s move on to Sophie. The answer was, “What the contents of your inbox indicate you need to do most,” and she wrote, “What is get a better spam filter?” That’s correct. And Sophie is our new IT Jeopardy champion.

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Jim Love, Chief Content Officer, IT World Canada

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