Shark tank

Exceptional IT

At this department meeting, IT boss announces that from now on, staffers are not to respond to any user request unless it’s made through the new IT work-tracking system. “But what if a frantic manager calls?” pilot fish asks. “No exceptions,” says boss. Even if it means a manufacturing line is shut down? “No exceptions!” Just then, boss’s cell phone rings. He glances at it and answers, and fish knows it’s a top manager. “What can I do for you? Your printer won’t print? I’ll send a tech right over!” Boss puts away phone and continues without missing a beat, “Of course, there will always be one or two exceptions.”

Talk to me

University pilot fish keeps hearing a voice from her PC, and she suspects one of the techs is playing a joke on her. Then, while doing some cleanup in a lab, she hears the same voice coming out of a lab computer. “After some checking, it dawned on me: It was our blocking software,” says fish. “It was set to sound and log off after 10 minutes of Internet inactivity. A low voice would shout ‘Log off!’ Others had been obediently logging off, thinking a tech was tapping in and needed the computer to be logged off.”

Office romance

Panicked receptionist calls IT manager pilot fish, saying her monitor is doing weird things, though she’s not touching the computer. “I get to her station and pull out her under-desk keyboard drawer,” says fish, “and there’s her romance novel, open face-down, mashing the keyboard. She turns an enchanting tomato red and mumbles, ‘Uh, sorry, I had to hide the book when the boss came by. Please don’t tell on me!’ Me? Never! But she owes me now.”

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