1. The company CEO has moved from the corner office to the ledge outside the corner office.
2. The manager informs you that the drinks in the company fridge haven't been free and hands you a $4,800 Snapple bill.
3. The company president asks if anyone has a problem giving out a little astrological advice over the phone while they work.
4. The head of R&D is spending more and more time in the park across the street with a metal detector he refers to as his "search engine."
5. Next time you see the company's founder, he is wearing a paper hat and telling you which one is the Diet Coke.
6. You arrive at work to find that all the computers have been replaced with Etch-a-Sketches.
7. Your boss concedes that he might be out of his teens before he's able to retire.

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1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
3. You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
4. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
5. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
6. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
7. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. For example: "What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon!"

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. New programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

More Jokes - E-mail a friend

Tech Support: "Your password will be...a small 'a' as in apple, a capital 'V' as in Victor, the number '7' "
Customer: "Is that a capital '7'?"

Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."