Cope at the bat: With apologies to Ernest Thayer

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the pension fund that dayThe telco owed big bucksAnd had to keep lenders at bayAnd then when KPMG failed toDeliver news of fiscal healthA sickly silence fell upon investors seeking wealth

A straggling few sold their shares in deep despairThe rest – clung to hope which springs eternal awaiting the solvency testThey thought, “if only Cope could get a whack at that”We’d bet our retirement savings now that Cope is at the bat

But Sabia preceded Cope and before it was MontyThey bought the Globe and Mail and invested big-time on IPAnd then a stricken multitude of mergers followed thatThe telco lost some focus before Cope picked up the bat

Then from five thousand shareholders throats there rose a lusty yellIt rumbled in Silicon Valley it made investors want to sellThe large shareholders wanted some big changes at BellSo they launched a strategic review, Come high water or hell

Ten million eyes were on them as they agreed to an LBOFive million hands applauded when the Supreme Court said it’s a goBut in the end the balance sheet made the auditors say, Uh-oh.

Oh somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining brightSomeone’s shares are rising, and some telcos have no plightBut there is no joy on Bay StreetThe bean counters got cold feet