Offshore with their heads!

Richard Samson, director of Mountain Lakes, N.J.-based EraNova Institute, offers 10 reasons to offshore the CEO position, taken from his forthcoming book, The Human Edge:

10. Business school grads in Pakistan, India, and China will gladly do the CEO thing for about US$13,500 a year – a $13,486,500 saving per company now paying their big guy $13.5 million.

9. Instead of laying off 346 underpaid people, you can save as much by laying off a single overpaid one.

8. Now corporate boards can play the layoff game, since the only employee they can axe is the CEO.

7. Since white-collar as well as blue-collar jobs are going overseas, the boss might as well be where all the workers are.

6. North American CEOs deserve the same life-changing help as everyone else: outplacement, career counselling and skills training in growth areas like hospital work, fast-food service and auto sales.

5. If the nation’s top 500 CEOs were all laid off, unemployment would go up only about 0.0056 per cent, to 9,000,500.

4. The new foreign CEOs will have tax equity with their workers, since neither will have to pay income taxes to Uncle Sam.

3. Instead of supporting expensive vacation homes and yachts, you’d only have to support vacation yurts and sampans.

2. Output per dollar cost will zoom as big CEO salaries are eliminated, and will eventually create new, better jobs (they say).

1. CEOs will start bonding with regular people by sharing their experiences and lifestyles.